I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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