Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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