Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
