I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
