You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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