fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize