I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
send nudes
from the living room?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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