Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
