You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
