We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
