In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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