The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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