I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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