I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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