Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
