Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
