I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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