sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
