he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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