oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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