there's paper in my vomit.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
