8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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