he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
