Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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