This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
