What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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