As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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