i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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