Buhtt sex?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
