Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
