People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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