I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
