Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
