How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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