We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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