took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
