i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
