Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize