Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
