Soap is not a condiment
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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