She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
