Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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