just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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