I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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