sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
