I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
