I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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