.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
