I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize