just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
ok first of all what the fuck
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize