I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
