am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
