I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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