Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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