My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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