shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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