Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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