Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
