so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
