Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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