Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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