I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
