Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
