Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
