I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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