i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
