Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
