i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
