forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
